My amazing Mum a small tribute
Stan Krawczyk • 23 December 2019
My amazing Mum a small tribute
Mothers really are amazing. Mine was remarkable although I didn't always realise how much until I left home and became a parent myself.
Its pretty obvious now, looking back and reading letters.
This site talks a lot about my father and his military history, sacrifices he made not least providing a roof over our heads and food on the table, but this isn't the full story. My dad may have been the strong army type but he couldn't do everything alone, hence the other side of the partnership was my mum.
She was a very glamorous fashionista, extremely sensitive and caring. Superb at learning new things by herself, such as cooking, she could also sew and make anything? Paint, draw and design clothes. I think she could have gone on to run her own business, but then she would never put herself before her family.
Mum always said, 'dad was the head of the family but she was the neck', which was entirely true.
We never owned a car so walked everywhere. My mum would push that large Silver-Cross pram up and down the road to Bury town centre (up hill from where we lived). Carry umpteen heavy shopping bags from the market.
I used to do the same when I was a little older and let me tell you those plastic bags get heavier the longer you walk even if you are walking downhill.
Being a full time mum is a full time job. Dad would pay the bills and fix the house, mum did the rest and I mean the rest, everything, bring me up take care of us when we were ill etc.
When dad retired he did more around the house but later he fell ill more often. Living 40 years with a piece of metal in your chest is not the ideal situation. He was prone to chest infections and we had a few close calls leading to extended hospital stop overs. Mum took care of him and me. She had to because half the time the staff in the wards just frankly didn't care enough to look after him properly, something I found when mum was in hospital.
Because of her sensitive nature she took everything very personally and would cry at home when dad was ill in hospital. I keep saying how sensitive she was but she was actually very strong, she just never realised it herself?
She would visit and stay with dad all day, every day when he was in hospital. I would turn up after work in the evenings and take over, so mum could go home. She was exhausted.
I had left home by the time dad passed away but I had to officially identify him to the Police in hospital, something I would never let mum do. To break with tradition you are supposed to have dad's open coffin in the house overnight before the burial and I just would not allow it, for no other reason than I knew it would be the most upsetting thing to do to my mum.
Years later mum ended up in hospital a few times although she would never let on anything was wrong with her. Once she passed out and I had to get the Police to kick the back door in so the medics could get to her. She fainted and knocked herself out on the radiator. She was in hospital for a while after that, yet she was insistent there was nothing to worry about? She could be quite stubborn when she wanted to be and she wasn't even from Yorkshire!
A few years ago I was worried she wouldn't pull through but amazingly she came out of hospital better than ever. She made lots of arrangements to sort things out on the house, even get laser surgery done for her cataracts , something which I was more worried about than she was! Yet she just got on with things! I was amazed.
We managed to get another 5 years, then in 2017 she was diagnosed with Cancer. It was a sudden thing, the doctor just came out and told me and we ended up on the fast track to blood transfusions and scans and well everything. Neither of us even realised what this meant and even then she thought everything would be fine as did I.
There came a moment where I just couldn't cope trying to take care of her by myself and asked for home help. Not long after she was admitted to hospital which gave me some time to sort a few things at home for her and let them do proper examinations. On the Tuesday I asked the Polish parish priest to see her and by the Sunday night she had left us.
This was 2 years ago and to this day I still can't believe she is not here? She was so strong for everyone else.
Because my dad was older than my mum as were our friends from days of Remploy, mum ended up being nurse to many of them. Helping them with prescriptions and going to town for them and so on. She was there for them always and lived through their pain.
She remembered every single person we knew. Their name day and sent a card or invited them to our house for a little party. She never forgot the dates they died and always visited their graves with a candle or flowers.
I have to say living in a small community also brings its problems, life is not all sweetness and honey.
Some who came from Poland, that she helped settle in, were jealous of what we had and spread gossip and rumours.
This mortified my mum and she ended up depressed. Even if you help people they can still come around and stab you in the back.
After that she would be wary whom to trust and she lived like that towards the end. That wasn't the happy go lucky mum that I knew from before, but she was still the same person underneath.
I don't think she ever grew up and I am the same, one day maybe I will?
Recently I found a 1966 Christmas card from her mother. On the back it mentioned how much she missed her, wishing her all the best for Christmas and not to forget to write. Reading it you can tell she missed her desperately and was sad she left Poland.
Three months later she died, one month before I was born.
I know my mum was devastated even though I don't remember that, but I do remember when grandad died suddenly years later and how she was then. I didn't truly understand what that meant until mum passed away.
It's a pain inside that never ever leaves you. You don't think about it all the time but sometimes it just pops into your mind.
Naturally I was very upset when my dad died but with him it was different. He was in pain for his post war years and in some ways I was happy for him. When I looked at his face for the last time, all the pain and worry lines had gone he was free of that, it strangely comforted me.
I often ask mum and dad for help with stuff on the house, car, work, just when I am stuck what to do? Yes you may say that sounds a bit loony but I believe there is more to this life? We are not just Apes in suits and trainers, but that's just my opinion.
Don't ever underestimate your mother she does more than you will ever know and wont even show it.
Thanks Mum for everything I just wish I could have done more for you.
Mum's hair styled by my daughter!
I used to work from home sometimes and mum would come around and take care of her for the last couple of hours till I finished work. It was really my fiendish excuse to have mum nearby not just for my daughter but for me. Mum would turn up in a taxi rammed to the gills with bags of presents, colouring books and so on.
She would also turn up with saucepans full of her cooking so we didn't have to cook, just warm it up, totally selfless till the end.
Cornish Christmas Eve get away 2024
The Last Krawczyk - 200 years in the making.
Penhros Polish Village - end of an era
Mum's Polish Kitchen - Krawczyk stuffed pancakes - nadziewane naleśniki.
Keeping the website going...
Christmas eve 2023 in Cornwall
Christmas eve 2021
Popcorn the kitten, Ania's new friend
5 Years today since mum passed away.
Ukraine War 2022